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The Chauffeur
written by: Hart Dowd
The CHAUFFER
The Pope had just finished a tour of the East Coast and was taking a limousine to the airport. Having never driven a limo, he asked the chauffeur if he could drive for awhile.
Hesitantly, the chauffeur agrees–well, what choice did he have? So the chauffeur climbs in the back of the limo and the Pope takes the wheel. The Pope eases on to Route 95 and starts accelerating to see what this limo could do. He goes faster and faster, until he reaches 90 miles per hour. Then, WHAM! He looks into his rear-view mirror, and sees the blue lights of our friendly State Police.
He slows, pulling over. The trooper comes to his window. The trooper, seeing who it is, gasps. Swallowing, and pulling out his handkerchief to wipe his sweating brow, he says, “Just a moment please I need to call in.”
The trooper radios in and asks for the Chief. “Chief,” he says frantically into the phone. “I’ve got a REALLY important person pulled over and I need to know what to do.”
Impatiently, the Chief replies, “Who is it now? Not Ted again!”
“Oh no,” the trooper says, “More important.”
“Oh! The Governor, is it?” the Chief replies.
“No! Even more important than the Governor,” replies the trooper.
“It isn’t the President?” asked the Chief.
“NO! MORE important!” replies the trooper.
“Who can be more important than the President, you idiot?” screams the Chief. “WHO IS IT then?”
“I – I – don’t know!” stutters the trooper. “But – but he’s got the – the POPE as a – his – CHAUFFEUR!”
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