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Struggles
written by: sheila martin
Struggle is something we all do, we struggle with ourselves, we struggle with living in a world that grows from bad to worse, darker by the moment, wondering when the glory of God is going to shine. We even struggle with sin, though we try to hide our struggles, hoping no one will see the misery our struggle creates within us, we even try to hide them from God. i have found that the struggle is really between our flesh and our spirit. You hear that voice whispering in your ear saying, "This is the way, walk in it." But then your flesh throws a temper tantrum, stomping its feet, saying, "but I want my own way". Then comes the struggle and the choice.
For me, my struggles are obvious and apparent to all who know me, probably to those who don't. I suppose that's okay, if your struggles are so apparent so will the victories. My mom always said, "people can read you like a book". I've never been good at hiding...for me, that's a good thing.
For as long as I can recall, I have lived and loved by my feelings, feelings seem to rule me, but recently I have learned a great lesson, one I hope I never forget. I don't havt to allow my feelings to rule. It's okay to have feelings, there is nothing wrong with feelings, God gave us emotions, we love, we hurt, we desire, we get angry, we fear. Feelings serve a purpose, they can either draw us towards God or away from God. If we are ashamed of our feelings, we try to hide them from God, and everyone around us, but like I said, I was never good at hiding...and sometimes that's exactly what our adversary wants us to do, he wants to isolate us, telling us that no one would understand,you are just too different, how you feel is who you are. But that is not true, how we feel is NOT who we are, sometimes not even a part of who we are.
Whatever you are struggling with, don't let the devil isolate you, and tell you that no one would understand...even if no human being would understand, Jesus understands, no matter what it is you are going through. i found that out in a very special way, a way I will never forget. if you are struggling, it means that you haven't given up, you are still fighting, and let me tell you, God wants you to win.
I found myself in a struggle between life and death, heaven and hell, and my feelings played the biggest part in this struggle. i allowed my feeelings , my emotions to reign, and if I continued to do so, i may have enjoyed the pleasures of sin for a season, but would have been on the fast track to hell, and taking someone with me.......
.....but God i need this emptiness filled, my husband is leaving me empty and vunerable, Your'e not filling it, after all God, Jesus couldn't have been tempted with bread if He wasn't hungry,and God I'm hungry....and I don't know how god but I have feelings for this person, I already love this person, this person is filling that void...but God I can not deny You, no matter how hard I try... the war between the f |
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