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The English Language? What's That?
written by: Hart Dowd
REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN
1)The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
No one said it was EASY !
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What else is strange about the English language?
Well, how about the fact that:
...there is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger.
...there is no apple or pine in pineapple.
...English muffins weren't invented in England.
...French fries weren't invented in France.
...sweetmeats are candies and not meat.
...sweetbreads are meats, but aren't sweet.
...quicksand can work slowly.
...boxing rings are square.
...a guinea pig is not from Guinea and is not a pig.
...writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham.
...the plural of tooth is teeth, but the plural of booth isn't beeth.
...its one goose and 2 geese, but not one moose and 2 meese.
...you can make amends but not one amend.
...you comb through annals of history but never a single annal.
...teachers have taught, but preachers have never praught.
...we recite at a play and play at a recital.
...we park on driveways and drive on parkways.
...a house can burn up as it burns down.
...we fill in a form by filling it out.
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